Three Common Reactions to Avoid After a Break up

Published: 09th September 2008
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When you've recently broken up with your ex, your system is under a great deal of emotional stress. Nature has structured our brains so that extreme stress makes us act first then think afterwards. Sadly, this doesn't work so well if we're trying to win back our ex.

Unless your expertise is dealing with break ups, your impulses will lead you in the wrong direction. The emotions of the moment will cause bad judgement which leads to lousy decisions. Simple awareness of the usual mistakes that people make and staying calm will start you off on the right foot.

1.) Stay clear of arguments about the separation. Doing this sets you back in several ways. Firstly, the two of you need to cool off some and incessant arguing just fuels the fire.

Likewise, arguing against the breakup can flip you into pleading mode or anger mode. Being angry with her won't intimidate her, it'll make getting her back more difficult. Pleading is going to make her wonder why you are so desperate and needy.

Desperation is equivalent to lacking confidence, being dependent, and being too easy to get. These aren't the attributes of the ideal man.

2.) Do not allow your emotions and impulses pull to you along when you deal with your ex. You really should have some sort of a well thought out plan to work with. At least, allow yourself to calm down and carefully take things a single step at a time.

Advice like this is easier said than done but ignoring it can really make things harder for you. The trouble with impulses is that they're primed by deep seated fears as well as your emotional state. These emotions and fears are usually negative which often lead to actions that bring on negative consequences.

3.) Don't engage in any begging or pleading. This is only going to diminish your worth to her because it puts you in a very weak position. There isn't a thing attractive about looking pathetic and desperate.

Don't forget that confidence, strength, and maturity are male attributes that the ladies like. Pleading is frequently shown in the movies as a grand romantic and moving gesture. But in the real world, you will only win contempt from her.

Don't forget that half of the battle is not making the mistakes that will damage your odds at winning your ex back. This is done by not permitting yourself to be overcome by anger, panic, or the other extreme emotions that commonly occur during a break up. Avoid any of the thoughts and situations that stir up these negative feelings and start your plan to win your ex back.

Recently separated? Get free breakup advice and a strategy for getting the ex girlfriend back.

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